


Alone

by asynje



Series: Even the Night [6]
Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Historical, M/M, Master/Slave, Vikings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-18
Updated: 2010-05-18
Packaged: 2017-10-09 13:13:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/87876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asynje/pseuds/asynje
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The time between Viggo's demise and Sean's suggestion to Hild's father.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Viking!verse. Warnings relate to the series as a whole.
> 
> Translations of the Danish at end. The concept _fylgja_ is mentioned briefly as a part of the binding/marking. A _fylgja_ is a follow-soul – a separate entity often in the shape of an animal – or a woman – that follows a person and shows itself in dreams. It can belong to a person or a bloodline.

Viggo's sister-daughter Hild had taken him to bed the fall after his master had gone and didn't come back. He had wanted to do as she wanted him to – she was kind and it was due to her that he had a roof over his hand. But he hadn't been able to. She had been hurt at first but then she had stared at his chest with a strange look in her eyes and told him to go back to his own sleeping space.

He had tried to see people in the new household as he had seen his master but none made him stir.

He was left alone by the other slaves but he didn't pay attention to their whispers. What did they know?

For a fleeting moment he felt – something – when he saw Hild's mother standing in the sunlight but she was shorter and softer and her voice was clear. And when she looked at him her eyes were cold and they burned him.

He felt dead and lonely and angry and vented his impotent rage on a fallen tree near the place where he gathered kindling for the household, beating it until his hands were bloody and raw. Then he curled up pressing his face against the crumbling bark and cried and cried and cried till there was nothing left inside of him but a vague ache.

That night he dreamt of Viggo for the first time since Hild had come to take him with her and told him that Viggo was not coming back.

He saw Viggo striding towards him, tall and imposing, cloak billowing in the gale, face streaked with blood. But he smiled and his eyes were just like a summer sky and Sean ran towards him and hugged him close. He knew he was dreaming for he didn't know the forest they were standing in and he had no clothes on. And Viggo was there and there wasn't blood on his face anymore. And he shone. And he felt so warm and solid under Sean's hands but he knew that it wasn't real. That he was all alone.

He felt Viggo's hands stroke his face.

_"Min smukke elskling, min lille hors. Jeg længes efter dig. Nætterne er lange, når jeg ikke har dig til at varme mig."_

Then Viggo's voice changed and became like a raven's cry and the cloak flapped around them, black and torn like feathers, as the wind picked up. Sean tried to hold on to his master but where Viggo moments before had been solid and warm he was now like flying ashes and smoke and Sean could feel the tears well up in his eyes.

As a huge raven winged away he heard Viggo's voice in his head, low and dark, saying: _"Remember the great sacred place and the endless winter – I sang of you when blood filled my mouth and you will come to me when the time is right – none may touch you where it matters for I chained your fylgja to mine and none shall take you from me – you are mine" _  
And Sean woke up trembling and utterly hard.

When he heard Hild stir the next morning he got up as well and followed her outside. He saw himself in her eyes, his beard unkempt and hair like dirty gold, and was unable to meet his own gaze reflected in hers. He stepped closer so he could kiss her and closed his eyes.

They went through the trees to the creek in silence and laid down in the cold wet grass. Her body was soft and pliant under his hands and he realized that he had almost forgotten what women smelled like in their hidden places, how they tasted.

Afterward Hild's lips was bleeding from where she had bitten down to keep quiet and Sean felt light, like a barrel with all the grain gone. They never slept together but sometimes Hild would seek him out while he was working and she would tell him to get to his knees and he did. It didn't make his heart feel like when his master had said those words to him but he believed that Hild tried to make him feel less alone and he was grateful for that. She never asked him to take her again and for that he was even more grateful. He didn't want to. Even though he could. Now.

He dreamt of Viggo twice and then a final time before the great winter came and he offered himself up as a sacrifice to the Fell Lord of Battle.

 

*

The two first dreams are memories, faded in colour but still strong like wine, making him dizzy and confused for a long time after wakening.

In the first – and this is a true memory – he remembers that day well – it is fall and his master is staying in bed even though the sun is up. Sean is warming porridge over the fire and when Viggo calls him he removes the pot so it won't burn. It had been raining the day before and his master had gotten cold and wet and ill but in the dream there is no reason for his master being warm and flushed and fevered and when Sean asks he is told that it's Viggo's passion scorching him from within.

When Sean mulls over the dream later he always stops here, not so much wondering why his master said that, as just repeating the words.

They make him feel warm inside.

When it happened he had fetched cool cloths and clean water to drink and when his master had fallen asleep he had climbed onto the bench and lain down next to him and cradled him in his arms.

Very carefully so as not to wake him.

It had been wondrous lying there, his master sleeping within the circle of his arms and he had felt so strong.   
Invincible.

He had nodded off and when he had awoken his master had been looking at him and he had felt his cheeks heat up for it was wrong of him to be there.   
Like that.   
But his master had only smiled and whispered: "You take good care of me" and he had stayed.

The dream is like that.

Except that in the end his master whispers his name and he awakes from the chill of hearing it spoken.

The second dream he doesn't like to think of but he sometimes does when it is dark outside and the fire has burned low.   
Or when he has to go outside at night to relieve himself.   
There is a strong fence around the village but the air is full of noises at night and he only has a very small knife, used to cut his meat, hanging from his belt. Should anything come.

In the dream his master is marking him. He remembers the night his master did it and how serious he was but he also remembers that his master kissed him in the middle of one of the chants he sang – because you are so pretty in firelight – and that it hadn't hurt much, having secret runes traced with a knife till there was blood.

In the dream his master is a wolf that bites him, over and over, inside.   
And Sean isn't Sean.   
He is a small mouse cowering, trying to move away from the wolf before it bites him all to pieces. And then the wolf flies and it is not a wolf at all but a raven and Sean is flying too but his wings are white and he hears his master say: "For evigt" and suddenly he is running across a waste stretch of land, trying to catch up with the sun that is setting in the horizon far away. His master is in the golden light and he is a horse running and then he wakes up.

When he comes to think of that dream in the darkness he tries to think of the sun but he always end up thinking of the wolf and how much its teeth hurt.   
Inside his chest.

Sean works and sleeps and breathes but it is all unreal to him and he seldom listens when those around him talk.   
At night he lies awake and lets his fingers draw the markings he can feel on his chest – over and over – in the grey earth.   
And at times he touches himself as well but that is better done outside where he doesn't have to be quiet.   
He will put his mouth to the earth when he comes and whisper and she keeps the name he whispers secret so none will know.

 

The third dream – the third dream comes when the winter has already gone on for too long, endless nights stretching with pitiful days full of snow and sleet between.

 

The third dream is the second dream. But in the third dream the horse almost catches up with the sun. It grows bigger and bigger until everything is golden and he feels how the strong body of the horse is ripped apart by the light.   
He hears his master say: "Min lille sol" but that is wrong. He is not the sun. He is the horse and now not even that. But as he drifts in the molten gold he feels hands stroke his hair and he suddenly understands that he is both. Horse and sun.   
And his master laughs delightedly and he wakes up with that sound in his ears.

And he knows that the time has come to ride the wind into the sunless night.

And then he won't have to be alone anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Translations:
> 
> _"Min smukke elskling, min lille hors. Jeg længes efter dig. Nætterne er  
> lange, når jeg ikke har dig til at varme mig."_  
> My beautiful little beloved, my little mare. I long for you. The nights are long when I haven't got you to keep me warm
> 
> _"For evigt" _  
> For ever / eternally
> 
> _"Min lille sol" _  
> My little sun
> 
>  
> 
> * * *
> 
> Original notes
> 
> Pairing: SB/VM  
> Rating: 15
> 
> Disclaimer: This is so not true. It's all pretty lies. Pretty, sparkly lies.  
> Feedback: Yes please. Leave a note here or mail me at asynje AT skumring.dk  
> Archive: [](http://community.livejournal.com/rugbytackle/profile)[**rugbytackle**](http://community.livejournal.com/rugbytackle/), my own lj. Others, please ask. I am sure we can work something out.
> 
> Beta: The amazing [](http://jennandanica.livejournal.com/profile)[**jennandanica**](http://jennandanica.livejournal.com/) and the equally amazing [](http://karelian.livejournal.com/profile)[**karelian**](http://karelian.livejournal.com/). All hail.
> 
> Warnings: AU. Leads up to character death. Disturbing imagery of a dreamy nature ;). Hints of het.


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